make inspiration chase you

I wouldn’t say that 2019 was a year of getting out of comfort zone, rather the year of finding my own inner peace. However, as the year is coming to an end I catch myself in a constant chase for inspiration to read, to write, to live.

In the city, where I currently live and study, there is a café that I avoided visiting. It had always interested me, but I never had the guts to pass through that freaking door. I get anxious entering unknown places alone, especially if a place seems packed as that café always seemed to be. But last Tuesday I’d had enough. That freaking café was pulling me towards itself since day one.

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(not a real café)

From the way it was decorated, to the fact that there were six old men sitting at the table talking about life as if they were straight out of an Italian movie – everything about it made me feel like I belonged. And the feeling of belonging made my inspiration run high. Not just an inspiration to write this, but to study as well. I spent two hours alone in that café being productive. And it felt good.


I was never the one to get out of my comfort zone. For way too long my comfort zone was my apartment. But, I figured I can’t live my life being closed off. I can’t experience world that way, I thought to myself. And getting into that café, even though my anxiety went up the scale, was something to be proud of.

That’s when I figured: Before you do something amazing, you will feel like shit. You will be afraid. You will feel like dying. But after you get it done once, second time it will feel like a piece of cake.

But, King K., what does it have to do with inspiration?!

Look at it this way:
1. You feel the pull to do something out of your comfort zone
2. You do it
3. You have a new experience and an emotional reaction
4. New experience induces your inspiration

For a long long LONG time, I thought that my inspiration to write, to read, to do anything at all would come to me out of nowhere. But, as I’m growing, I can see that to make inspiration chase you, you have to chase it.

KING KENNEDY (3)

Hello!

…but by changing ourselves we are one step (one person) closer to the perfect world we all want to live in.

Whenever I want to write about myself or my life, I stop. It’s because I’m not confident enough and I don’t think my English is very good at all. The reason I don’t want to write in my native language, though, is that I don’t feel comfortable knowing that people from my country might be reading it. I’m not saying we are closed-minded people, but I think that finding a community where I belong will be easier this way.  

I’ve always wanted to write a blog. I’ve always wanted to have a place to share my thoughts and feelings. (I would say ‘without being judged’ but this is Internet and we all judge here all the time.) The thing is, I have a feeling that I can help people by sharing my experiences and knowledge. I also have a feeling that we should follow our inner guidance.

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Here’s a thought:

Imagine if all of us heard and followed our inner guidance.

Imagine if all of us knew why we are here.

Imagine if all of us were happy.

That is the world I want to live in. I know it is impossible, but by changing ourselves we are one step (one person) closer to the perfect world we all want to live in.

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One thing that I figured after my last mental breakdown is that I waste too much time on nothing. Absolutely nothing. These past few days were a blessing. It’s like something clicked and I stopped being on my phone 24/7, I stopped complaining 24/7, and I stopped being overall lazy 24/7. Well, it didn’t just click, and looking back, I can see how and why I changed my ways. The problem is, it comes when you least expect it. I will post about it for sure, because that’s a story to tell! I just have to take a chill pill and stop being negative about everything that occurred this past week or two.

As all of my close people say: ‘You only learn when it hits you hard and bad’. That is the truest truth of my life. I wish it were different, but until I stop pushing myself into something that I intuitively know is wrong there won’t be any progress for sure.

I hope my mistakes aren’t that bad. Hoping that maybe someone will help me in the near future. Who knows… If I’m on a good path, Universe will provide, right?! 🙂 

KING KENNEDY (3)